How to Communicate Better through a Few Simple Concepts

Communication is something I pay close attention to. You can always improve your ability to listen and express effectively.  Communicating just decently through any medium takes constant practice.  Like dribbling a basketball, you have to keep your skills in tune.

But, I’ve come across a few things that it really helps to remember.  Here are a few simple thoughts to keep in mind when communicating in person (and otherwise) that I’ve picked up in my own adventures:

Confidence. We use it as a key indicator that the person knows what they’re talking about.  Its importance is often overlooked.   After all, “if you don’t believe what you’re saying, how should I?”

I’m a big fan of the Long Now Foundation’s Seminars on Long Term Thinking.  At each of these, a prominent thinker shares their experiences and thoughts on humanity and the future.  My absolute favorite of these is by Peter Diamandis, the founder of the X-Prize Foundation.

In his words, “When you announce something above the line of super-credibility…. it changes the way people think about it.”

To illustrate, when Peter announced the $10M Ansari X-Prize for private sub-orbital space flight, he had astronauts, the head of NASA, the Lindberg family, and more all on stage beneath the St.Louis Arch.  After the

announcement, everyone was so excited that no one even asked, “Do you have the money?”

He didn’t.

But of course, the reason people make judgments based on genuine confidence is that, over time, it’s correlated with the level of credibility you do actually have.  So I wouldn’t recommend attempting to act more confident.  Simply be confident as you should be.  People see through it eventually, if not very quickly.

But, if you’re talking about something you’ve studied and thought deeply about, do remember supreme confidence alters the message in the minds of the listeners.

Show signs of sincere consideration of the other’s point of view. This one is very hard, and I’ve met few people that naturally seem to do it.    When in discussion, if someone doesn’t feel like they can get their point across, their focus is completely pre-occupied by attempting to get their point across.  If you in turn do the same, you both might as well be talking to a wall.

When I was in college, I spent my senior  year in MBA courses at MIT Sloan picking up experience through the MBA students that were all much older than me.

One class I took was “Technology Sales and Sales Management”.  Boy, I got a kick out of that class. It was taught by two guys by the name of Howard Anderson and Ken Morse.  I’ll do them injustice, but for the sake of understanding the scene, imagine two brash, hard-nosed, old-school, and very successful business men proclaiming their philosophies on deal making, money making, and performance.

And while neither would ever take “No” for an answer when trying to close a deal, they did always emphasize, when the customer objects, always reply with a statement indicating that you understand their concerns. Then follow-up with a reason why the deal is great for them nonetheless.  (It also helps communicate a non-adversarial relationship.)

(Here I’ll tip my hat to Howard and Ken, two of the very few instructors in my education that were incredibly compelling.)

Lead with your point. Get to it as quickly and clearly as you can, then expound upon it in a way that fits your audience.  Sometimes speakers will open with a story.  And it seems to work, if you’re a compelling storyteller and if you have an adequate relationship with your audience (i.e. your reputation and your general message precede you).

Enough said.  This post is already too long, so I should remember to get to the point myself before your attention begins to fade.

Clarify with analogies. They work really well.  Our brains are associative.  We jump to things we recognize and understand. That said, make sure you use an analogy that your audience understands.  Otherwise, they can be baffling.

Save to Memory through Narration. I believe this requires the most art.  Your message as a whole should seem to be narrated and have a clear trajectory and closure, as if you were just telling a story.

Additionally, to help your audience remember a point, tell a story.

I’d of course love to tell a story here about some of the most memorable ones I’ve heard that carried an incredible insight (along with some great entertainment), but it’ll have to wait.  Succinctness shouldn’t be overlooked either.

Always interested in hearing thoughts on the topic.

Kevin
8.17.09