When you look at many of the “Great” contributors of society, men and women that have made significant contributions to human consciousness, if you remove all the glory, they often seem cookier than the guy on the street yelling at no one.

A correlation between Madness and Genius seems to exist. Possibly even a causal relationship.

Greatness doesn’t come from being in the middle of the bell curve.  It comes from being at the furthest tip of the curve or beyond.  The problem is, escaping the middle of the curve is difficult, there is so much inertia that wants to keep you caged there.  Rules, practices, traditions, genetics, governments, excuses, doubt, all these things force you back into the middle.  Ultimately, escaping all these forces requires some extreme types of behavior–what we’d call deviant behavior.  Behavior that steps into the realm of bizarre, maniacal, or outright wacky.

But the truth is, deviant behavior opens doors to new things.  You’d think it was pretty fucking weird if all I did was eat, sleep, and throw a ball at a red fleck of paint on the wall standing 100 feet away.  But,  this obsession has some probability of creating an opportunity that I’ll have access to that you won’t.

This doesn’t mean being outwardly weird is a requirement for being great.  Rather, this cookiness comes as a side effect.  You don’t have to act like a wack-job to paint great portraits.  But, the lust for something different and new and interesting and cathartic sometimes seems to seep out in other ways beyond just the primary pursuit.

So what’s the difference between a Genius and a Madman?

On the superficial level–money, power, fame. You can’t talk smack when the quivering idiot has a hand full of aces and you don’t.

But we can dive further than this.  As far as I can see, there’s 2 deeper differences:

1) Context. In one context, throwing a ball at a wall all day in new and different ways could just seem outright dumb.  Throwing a ball in the same manner while standing on a pitcher’s mound in a baseball game could be brilliant.  If you can’t hear the music, the dancer looks crazy.  And if you’re in the wrong spot, your gift can seem like a curse.

2) Adaptability. It’s possible that the genius is better able to focus his “madness” in ways that are more beneficial.  The genius is able to find his way to the edge where madness bears gifts, no matter the Context.

These aren’t mutually exclusive, and likely, it’s some sort of  co-evolutionary process.

But, if I were to choose the one that really matters, I’d choose Context.

This may be the product of my biased view of the world that everything comes from the expression of our internal state.  Every action we take is an expression–whether we like it or not. If you’re controlled by your lowest desires, you become a despicable brute.  If your head is empty, you’ll be controlled by the contorted thoughts of dictators–something must fill your mind, and it will be filled for you if you don’t.

And when I look at great people, I see their internal state coming out loud and clear.  They’re clawing towards where they’re compelled to go–driven by intense pain or pleasure or both.  They’re doing what they do and spend their lives trying to get to where they can do more of it.  As far as I can tell, they didn’t change themselves.  They found their own way to their ray of light.

So maybe the primary difference really is just Context.  But then does it boil down to luck of birth? where you’re born and when?

Sure, that has something do with it.  But I have this insane belief that people are stronger than circumstance, and that, metaphorically speaking, Alchemists and Wizards and Ubermen exist, and I think that’s the right belief to hold.  Great physicists and writers escaped terrible prisons in the middle of Siberia so that they could be united with their craft. How many great phsysicists or writers died in the same process, we’ll never know. But the belief that we’re strong creates a probability of success.

So maybe this post boils down to these two thoughts:

a) If you’re a Madman, and if you believe you are strong, keep moving until you find yourself in the right place.

b) If you’re just an average joe, be glad you’re not a Madman, love your stable environment, kick back, enjoy the show the Madmen will provide, and hope it doesn’t destroy your world.

-Kevin
1.27.2012

The short of it:

1) Go to this site (http://bit.ly/zM4UW2) and donate $10 to help my friend achieve her dream. (You’ll find more info there on how the money is used.)

2) Reach out to one person you’ve genuinely been meaning to get in touch with, and see if they’re willing to pitch in. (You can tell them it was my idea if you don’t like asking people for money.  feel free to blame it on me.)

The full version, and why you should do this:

“dreams” are things we long for. They seem to be slippery and fleeting.  We have lots when we’re kids.  They diffuse away as we get older.

This sure seems to be the case, because as far as I can tell, not that many people have them.  Not dreams that are strong enough to drive them to take deliberate steps to achieve them.

How many people do you know that have a real dream that they want more than anything?

~

I have a friend.  Her dream is to run in the Boston Marathon, as a numbered runner, and complete it in under 4 hours.  Moreover, she’s running for the Leukemia and Lymphoma society, and her goal is to raise over $5,000 for the cause.

She mentioned this years ago, and she’s doing it.  She’s right on track.

However, dreams aren’t achieved without the support of others. Afterall, none of us really work alone. And we should want to see each other achieve our dreams, because it’s a reminder to the rest of us that we can achieve our own.

So how can we help her achieve this?

She needs a little more than $4,000 to reach her goal.  For people with income, $10 is a reasonable sum of money to give, which means she just needs 400 people to donate at least $10.

~

We’ve all probably met hundreds of people in life.  We fall out of touch with many of them.  This offers an opportunity to get back in touch with a few of them.

I’ll call this the “400 by 10 ” challenge.  This needs to be done in approximately 30 days.  Here’s what I propose:

• I’m going to start reaching out to people to re-connect and to see if they’re willing to donate $10.  Of course, I won’t be able to reach 400 people in time.  So……
• If you can, take the opportunity to reach out to 1 person you’ve genuinely been meaning to talk to, and see if they’re up for helping.
  • Perhaps you might say, “Kevin Vogelsang wrote this post (http://bit.ly/zaXvE2).  Reminded me I needed to catch up with you.  If you’re up for it, play along and kick in $10 at this girl’s Boston Marathon fundraising page (http://bit.ly/zM4UW2). Anyway, ……”  Something like that.

I have a feeling getting involved will energize you, and get you thinking about your own dreams.  Let us know how we can support. (Seriously, send me an email.)

I appreciate your help. Things come full circle.

-Kevin
1.18.2012

I have a younger brother named Michael.  He’s a junior in high school, smart kid, and a really good football player (starting defensive end on a very good team).

When I was visiting home for the holidays, I learned something interesting: apparently he bakes a whole plate of cookies for all his friends on their birthdays.  And when he doesn’t know someone, but feels he should, he does the same for them as well.

Upon learning this, I thought to myself, “wow, that’s unbelievable.”  I was really impressed, and even inspired.  He’s busy just like the rest of us and does things like this for people.

~

Later, I of course started thinking about this.  Was I ever that kind? Have I gotten overly-selfish?

Making your way out in the world can be tough.  Sometimes you have to be near-ruthless to protect yourself and get what you need.  And amidst all the elbows, calamity, pain, and weariness, I worry we become much colder people.

And very likely, this transformation is needless and counter-productive.

~

I’d been thinking about this for a while.  And then something funny happened the other day….

So there I was, sitting at my computer, feeling lousy.  I was tired from travelling.  I had multiple personal issues spring up that were distressing.  I also hadn’t exercised or written in a while which didn’t help.  I couldn’t concentrate and didn’t have the energy to do anything I wanted to do, so I naturally started wasting some time on facebook.  Then, rather unexpectedly, this message popped up on my screen from a grade school classmate:

Hey Kevin, you probably don’t remember me, but my mom and I saw you guys at christmas eve mass and were talking about back when we were in school. I remember once when I was upset you came over and gave me a hug at recess, I just want to let you know that it meant a lot to me and I’ve never forgotten it. I appreciate how kind you were to me.

Amazing.  She remembered something that happened over 10 years ago, and thought to send me a message.  And it came to me in (what is thankfully) a rare moment of sharp lousiness.  It helped get me back up and at it.

~

Kindness is powerful, and we forget it.  And we become a bit too callous.

Moreover, it doesn’t require great investments, just open eyes and a few moments.  Something small to you could be large to someone else.

Remember?

-Kevin
1.17.2011

“Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for kindness” – Seneca

I enjoy studying the stories of “great men”.  If you approach a biography of one of history’s great minds with the right filter, you can pick up some good data on what it takes to be great — just look out for the tendency of writers to get things wrong and get rid of the idea that they’re demi-gods that operate in isolation.

I recently finished a biography on Walt Disney (Walt Disney: The Triumph of the American Imagination).   So what made Walt become the name of one of the greatest brands in the world?

• He was willing to put up with a lot of shit — socialist instigators, animators walking out on him, unions, all the people that would try and screw him, not having any money, and on and on.
• An interest in novelty.  This is very important.  Walt loved novel things.  He took a fascination to trains and built a track at his house.  He helped push Disney to add sound to cartoons.  He liked things that were unusual.  He liked new technologies and embraced them.
• He was not afraid to take credit. He took credit for things.
• He insisted on quality.  He faced a constant struggle between quality films and budgets.  This at times seemed like a fault, and very well may have been, but he did come out on top.
• A belief in and desire for utopia.  Walt tried to build a utopian workplace for his company.  It is also what later pushed him to make Disney Land.

There’s one other thing.  People talk about how “failure is important” and “why you shouldn’t be afraid to fail” — a lot of stuff that isn’t true.  So let me present the observation instead of trying to tout some sort of idiotic half truth on failure:

Overall, Walt Disney’s story sounds like a failure.

If you replaced his name with someone else’s, and removed the last 2 chapters of his life, you would think you were listening to a story about the disillusionment of the American dream, not a triumph of American imagination.

-Kevin

11.9.2011

Image via Wikipedia

On attempting to deprive one’s senses

First, an update on my trip to the Sensory Deprivation chamber….

Two weeks ago, I took a trip out to Boylston, MA to a “healing arts center” that had a Sensory Deprivation tank for the purpose of what is called “flotation therapy.”  This trip was a part of my journey in experiencing alternate states of consciousness.

Long story short: The place was about an hour out of Boston. I left with plenty of time.  But, of course, I have a lot of trouble finding this well hidden place.  I try calling them and no one answers of course. I eventually find the place, but the extra half hour of searching made me about 10 minutes late leaving me only about 45 minutes in my appointment.  I quickly get ready and hop in the salt water in the tank.  I lie there floating around, it’s pretty dark.   I’m taller than average, so I bump into the sides of the tank a bit.  This irritates me since its distracting, but I eventually calm down and get to a stable floating state so I’m not bumping into anything.  My mind chatters away like usual when I can’t go to sleep at night.  I eventually start to calm down.  And then. all of a sudden, I see a strong glow of light coming from above my head.  At first I freak out a bit since no light goes into a sensory deprivation tank, right? RIGHT??

I sit up a bit and rest on my elbow (the water is only about a foot deep) and crane my neck to see where the light is coming from.  I see 5 circles with light coming from them.  I sit up a bit and start feeling around the walls of the chamber, did I hit a button that turns on light in these things? are some people into light in the chamber?

As I sit up, unbeknownst to me, water starts to drip down my forehead…..and into my eyes.  I was quite frustrated at this point. Ah! Son of a bitch! Goddamit!! ( I cuss like a sailor sometimes. Bad habit. This is probably the censored version.)

I get the salt-water-in-the-eyes situation remedied, and I lie down trying to at least relax for a bit.  As I lie there, I hear the door slam from someone coming into the building.  I then hear voices of people talking.

I get up and get ready to leave.

Before leaving, I asked, “Is the tank supposed to have light in it?”  Person working: “Yeah.  You can’t let it distract you though.  You just have to relax.”

the hell???

~

Let me think about the steps I went through:

• I heard from a number of sources about sensory deprivation which made me think that it was certainly a novel experience I should try
• I even further researched it online (looking up other sources on the topic, looking at different tank manufacturers), still trying to better understand what it was like
• I found a place and asked about the experience there and what it entailed, which seemed to match up with all the other sources.
• The chamber that the location had was even from one of what was supposed to be one of the leading Sensory Deprivation tank manufacturers (Samahdi Tank Co.)
• I booked an appointment and confirmed my appointment.
• I left on course to arrive more than 30 minutes early
• I had the number in my phone to call in case I got lost

Outcome:

• I was late
• the tank had light in it and I could hear quite easily things going on around me

By going to a chamber professionally made for sensory deprivation, I had assumed that my senses would be effectively deprived.  Maybe there would be some vibrations that they couldn’t block out, but for the most part, it would be dark and quiet. This seems reasonable right?  It’s a quite direct assumption I think.  And alas, this assumption turned out to be blatantly wrong.

I took a number of prudent steps to make sure things went well, but the most basic assumption–that my senses would be mostly deprived–turned out to be blatantly false.

On setting up business meetings

I go to a lot of meetings at major corporations.  For a meeting where you will be meeting with another company to give a presentation, the list of things you need to do is pretty absurd in order to ensure a successful meeting:

• is there definitely a conference phone in the conference room so my colleague can dial in?
• is there a projector?
• do i have the final presentation slides on my computer? who does?
• do i have the final presentation slides on a flash drive in case we can’t use my computer? do we have them in .pdf form in case powerpoint does not work for the other computer?
• do we need to be registered with security?
• do we have access to the conference room a half hour before the meeting start time so that we can get setup and ready?
• is someone available to sign us in early enough for us to get into the conference room and setup before the meeting starts?
• do the attendees from the other side know why they’re coming to this meeting?
• do we know what the other attendees want from this meeting?
• do we have the agenda agreed to?  Is it the “real agenda”?
• are all the attendees on my side properly prepped and know what they need to do?
• do we need some sort of screen sharing technology up and running for remote attendees?  can I set it up externally? or does the hosting party need to set it up internally?
• do I need to have something installed in order to share my screen?
• does everyone understand the goals of the meeting on our end?
• If my colleague’s cell phone dies or doesn’t have signal and can’t dial into the meeting, am I able to present his slides for him?
• What questions do we need to ask?
• What can we find out about the people that will be attending? have we done our research on them as individuals?
• Have I spoken to everyone on the other side of the table before?
• what don’t I know that is going to trip us up?
• do I have my computer? power chord? pen? paper?

I could actually keep going with this list.

the level of risk is probably higher than you think

Taking a careful look at these two examples brings to light how much can (and usually does) go wrong.  It’s true, I’ve shown up at the wrong site (it’s easier than you think).  My boss has gone to a meeting where they didn’t have a conference phone in the conference room. I’ve certainly been to meetings where someone’s time was wasted because they couldn’t get the A/V equipment up and running.  All these things happen and always threaten to derail the mission.

And sometimes even the most basic assumptions are completely wrong.  Check your premises I suppose.

Now scale this up to more uncertain areas of operation.  New relationships. New technologies.  New businesses.  In a more complex system, there are even more things that can go wrong.

It’s hard, but I try, as often as I can, to ask myself,  What are the assumptions I’m making? Are they correct? what are the risks? are there any steps I can take to prevent them?

Bearing in mind how hard it is to go lie down in a pool of saltwater or sit in a room and talk with a group of people in a useful manner, it seems like a damn miracle that anything ever actually works.

-Kevin
10.4.2011

Image by epSos.de via Flickr

I was talking to an active angel investor not too long ago, and he was telling me about different pitches he’s seen and why they failed.

To paraphrase the key points relevant to this post:

Sometimes we have people that somehow get into talk to us that just don’t really have anything.  The can’t talk in real terms about what they’re trying to do.

I’ve also heard a lot of good ideas that there is no way the team could deliver on.

I’ve seen teams that had an experienced team and a good idea, but their lead founder couldn’t answer a relatively simple technical question, which shows they aren’t living and breathing this stuff.

And then there are some really good teams with a good product…..but they lose interest after people see them present…..

I was intrigued by this last statement.  A lot of times investors cut founders some slack as they’re not always expected to be slick presenters, particularly if it’s a technology startup.  But it sounds like these guys weren’t, and I agree with their stance.

If you want to do something unique, if you want to sell something, you’ve got to get people up out of their chairs and inspired.  This takes energy and charisma. And if you can’t move people, how are you going to drive the necessary motion for a new a business?

I suppose this begs the question: where does this “energy and charisma” come from and what is it?

-Kevin
9.22.2011

I want you to be a goddam superstar. I want you to be so good at what you do, that you make my skills look like a joke. I want you to be the biggest thing since sliced bread.  That’s right. I do.

Why?

When you blow up and become a mega hit, you’ll take me with you, at least a little bit, whether you meant to or not.

When I see you doing so great, you’ll make me want to catchup with you.  Maybe I’m a little competitive.  Maybe it’s just that your success told me I could do it too.

When your resources have grown with your success, hopefully you’ll be willing to help me because at some point on the road to your spot in the sun, I helped you.

And when our paths cross again, when you’ve made it big, I hope I see you happy, full of purpose, and immersed in your life, work, love, and role. (Isn’t that the definition of success?) That stuff spreads too.

I’m rooting for you, and I’ve got your back.

-Kevin
9.19.2011

The Abyss

Many years ago, there was a man who lived in a village.

One evening, after a long day of work, he ventured out of the village into the forest, unsure of what he was looking for.

Every night, he continued this.  Each time going farther and farther.  Until one night, he came out of the forest and onto a stretch of rock.  He hurried forward stumbling across the uneven surface of the stone, until he came to a sharp ledge.

He stopped, stood up, and found himself overlooking an immense, vacuous space–miles and miles of unknown darkness.  He looked out into the vast Abyss and saw visions of what could be out there, what could be achieved, what could be discovered within its depths.

He ran back to the village, told everyone he knew, and begged his friends to come with him to see it.

They wouldn’t come.  They didn’t believe he had even found such a thing.  He asked others.  None would come.

He tried to forget the Abyss. He tried to go on with his simple life–work, food, friends–but it felt empty now too.  He had lost his simple life forever.

Then one evening approximately one year after his first discovery, he returned to the Abyss, and stared out into the vast darkness.  And as he stared out into it, the Abyss stared back at him.  The emptiness, the loneliness, filled his mind, “I will always be alone. They will never understand.”

He began to climb down into the Abyss, and the Abyss consumed him.  No one ever heard from him again.

Perhaps this Adventurer discovered wondrous treasures after journeying down into the Abyss.  Maybe one day we’ll re-discover what he found.  As much as I want to believe that this Adventurer learned and discovered much, in all likelihood, he probably took a fall in the darkness, fractured his leg and shattered his ribs, and was left stranded and awaiting death.  Either way, there are no stories to be told of him, so he is dead in our memories, other than as an example of someone that ventured off only to be consumed by nothingness.

Perhaps there is no meaning behind this story.  But, in recent years, I’ve found meaning in it.

I’ve tried a lot of things, some of which could certainly be viewed as stupid.  I’d ask myself, “What the hell am I doing this for?” But I had my reasons, and I knew the only way I’d learn was to carry on. Additionally, I often found it hard to understand why people were satisfied with just coasting through life.  I could see very clearly why it was a good route, but nonetheless, I couldn’t really understand.  And several times, because of these conditions (me trying unordinary things, and not “getting” the usual life), I found myself feeling very alone.

Some people are compelled to venture off into the strange wild lands through the dark forest.  To some, it’s a gift and a superior way to live one’s life.  To others, it’s a disease.  I think a more even view is that it’s a role.

Eventually, these people will encounter the Abyss.  The problem is, much like the story, they let the Abyss stare back into them and consume them.  No one around them understands. They cut themselves off.  They convince themselves that no one understands.  And they go on living lonely, miserable lives.  And the story of the Abyss plays out.

People need differentiation, particularly the ambitious and creative (the Creatives). Consequently the idea of playing a role can be very discomforting.  But, this must be reconciled for the Creatives, we all need integration and connections to others.  The Abyss is vast, and there is an infinite amount of unknown for everyone to look separately on, and therefore plenty of room for differentiation.

So I would propose a different ending to the story of the Abyss:

He returned to the Abyss, and stared out into the vast darkness.  The Abyss stared back at him.  The emptiness began to fill his mind, and just before the Abyss was about to consume him, in an instinctual flash, he looked to his left.  And in the distance, he could see the faint outline of someone else, gazing out into the immense unknown.

-Kevin
9.18.2011

Image via Wikipedia

I’m in the process of working on a more involved post (actually a set of posts) about skill acquisition.  But I thought I’d post something short in the meantime.

I’m an extremely future-oriented individual and my thoughts generally revolve around implications for the future.  In general, I’m extremely happy about this bias and the ability to make decisions that it affords me.  I think of it as a gift.  But, in the past, I think this future orientation was at times to such a high degree that it became a fault.

If you focus too much on the future, you dim the experience that is happening now.  I’m up for having a good time, particularly if it’s a unique experience. But an important lesson I had to learn was how to continuously incite and devour a vibrant present.

And that’s where fraternity brothers come in handy.  They helped a lot because I was able to see just how much fun anything can be if you choose to make it so.

One of the guys goes out of town: this is obviously an opportunity to fill his room wall to wall with thousands of balloons! (what a fantastic idea,truly amazing)

Have to wake up early to do community service at a food bank: challenge somebody to race to see who can pack boxes the fastest, and if you’re watching, place bets and cheer.

There are many examples of things like this.  I’m pretty sure you can make anything fun so long as you’re with at least a few good people.  However, this has a particularly important implication for leadership.  Here’s another anecdote:

Every summer, we would have to prepare the fraternity house for the summer boarders, which entailed getting the house cleaned up and rooms setup with desks and a bed.  This could often require moving around a lot of very heavy desks.

I was in charge of this one summer, and I appointed one of the older brothers to lead the desk moving crew.  After all the assignments had been made, this particular brother raised a fist and shouted, “To the Beacon!” and his crew came running.  They took frequent breaks, which this task required, and the crew leader would do this very same thing to pull the team back together.  This small practice, imbibed with a bit of energy and light-heartedness, changed the nature of the desk-moving task into a more positive experience. More than just the desk-moving crew, it made me, the guy in charge, feel better about whether or not we were going to get the damn house put back together in time.

~

I suppose it’s worth asking, are there limits to how much fun you should have?  Well, thankfully my fraternity brothers have again come to the rescue to test that:

(video embed appears to not be working try here: MIT ATO Window Jumping
Note: By posting this I do not condone it, and of course, encourage everyone to never do this, so don’t try this at home, kids.)

-Kevin
8.29.2011

Image via Wikipedia

Recently, I was working with someone.  We had a goal to complete by the upcoming Monday.  On the Wednesday of the preceding week, we had things pretty well put together, and I asked, “What do we need to do in order to get this wrapped up?”  I essentially asked this twice.  Both times I got answers that summed up to “oh, don’t worry about it.”

We did not complete the objective.

~

My Dell desktop was crashing with authority. I couldn’t figure out the issue and thought it might be a hardware problem, so I decided to call Dell customer support (which doesn’t really exist, their support is outsourced to an Indian company now).  They told me that it probably wasn’t a hardware problem, and that they could run a diagnostic to find the issue.  For some reason, I acquiesced and allowed them to do so.  They ran some sort of busy, little diagnostic tool that told me I had 112 errors on my machine.  The rep asked me, “Do you think your computer can function with all these errors, Kevin?” Apparently not.  ”Your computer needs to be cleaned and tuned….” He then went on to tell me what I could purchase to get this fixed and be covered in the future.  Assured that it wasn’t a hardware issue, I took my exit.

“Cleaned and tuned”…a phrase that means absolutely nothing followed by a sales pitch.  This sounded the “waste of time” alarm for me.  I fixed it myself for free later that day.

~

Back in college, when I decided to start seriously pursuing ideas of my own (potential business ideas, academic projects, etc.) , people would ask me relatively rudimentary questions, and I wouldn’t have answers to them. Stupidly obvious things: “now why would they do that?”,”how would this work?”, “who is going to pay for this?”

I hadn’t thought this through completely.  (This is an interesting phenomena that happens to creative people when they first start acting on ideas. Perhaps another post on this topic soon)

~

When you or other people can’t talk through the details, be very suspicious.  This works when people are lying.  However, I think lying is the lesser problem when compared to naivete and incompetence.  Many well-meaning people are walking around out there, but they really talk a lot of noise.

If you can’t speak in clearly and in detail about your position, instead of engaging in the debate, say “I don’t have the details” or “I haven’t thought this through yet.”  You probably feel strongly about your position, but you’re most likely going to be engaging in a debate over feelings and beliefs, not thoughts, which is a debate that is best avoided.  How many worthless debates have you seen where the two people are “debating” but communicating nothing?

If an individual can’t talk in detail about their idea, ask them a few questions.  Let them think about them.  Eventually, you’ll probably need to say, “it’s hard for me to tell right now if you’re on to something here.  I think you need more clarity around X, Y, and Z.”  If X,Y, and Z are clear issues, you’re actually helping them a lot.

We spend a lot of time talking, and it’s pretty hard for our thinking to keep up.  And the devil really is in the details.

If you really know something, you can talk about it in detail.  I’ve found this observation extremely useful.  Let me know if you have as well.

-Kevin
8.21.2011