I have a younger brother named Michael.  He’s a junior in high school, smart kid, and a really good football player (starting defensive end on a very good team).

When I was visiting home for the holidays, I learned something interesting: apparently he bakes a whole plate of cookies for all his friends on their birthdays.  And when he doesn’t know someone, but feels he should, he does the same for them as well.

Upon learning this, I thought to myself, “wow, that’s unbelievable.”  I was really impressed, and even inspired.  He’s busy just like the rest of us and does things like this for people.

~

Later, I of course started thinking about this.  Was I ever that kind? Have I gotten overly-selfish?

Making your way out in the world can be tough.  Sometimes you have to be near-ruthless to protect yourself and get what you need.  And amidst all the elbows, calamity, pain, and weariness, I worry we become much colder people.

And very likely, this transformation is needless and counter-productive.

~

I’d been thinking about this for a while.  And then something funny happened the other day….

So there I was, sitting at my computer, feeling lousy.  I was tired from travelling.  I had multiple personal issues spring up that were distressing.  I also hadn’t exercised or written in a while which didn’t help.  I couldn’t concentrate and didn’t have the energy to do anything I wanted to do, so I naturally started wasting some time on facebook.  Then, rather unexpectedly, this message popped up on my screen from a grade school classmate:

Hey Kevin, you probably don’t remember me, but my mom and I saw you guys at christmas eve mass and were talking about back when we were in school. I remember once when I was upset you came over and gave me a hug at recess, I just want to let you know that it meant a lot to me and I’ve never forgotten it. I appreciate how kind you were to me.

Amazing.  She remembered something that happened over 10 years ago, and thought to send me a message.  And it came to me in (what is thankfully) a rare moment of sharp lousiness.  It helped get me back up and at it.

~

Kindness is powerful, and we forget it.  And we become a bit too callous.

Moreover, it doesn’t require great investments, just open eyes and a few moments.  Something small to you could be large to someone else.

Remember?

-Kevin
1.17.2011

“Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for kindness” – Seneca

Image via Wikipedia

The term “Edge of Chaos” stems from observations made by researchers in complexity science.  Here’s the basic idea:

On one side of the spectrum, a system can be highly ordered and in equilibrium.  Imagine a very rigid company that makes a specific amount of a certain widget each month and carries out its function as efficiently as possible.

On the other side of the spectrum, a system can be in chaos, and no longer function as a system.  Imagine a company that was just a room full of 3 year-olds with each of them running in different directions.

Somewhere between these extremes is the “Edge of Chaos” where the system displays the most variety and a rich set of complex behaviors.  Some make the generalization that this is where systems are the most adaptive and creative.

All the things I’ve created thus far in my life that I consider great have come from chaotic times when there were very real and scary consequences for failure.  It’s important to challenge yourself, but there’s a difference between running to beat your best time, and running to escape a lion.  When you’re trying to beat your best time, you run harder.  When you’re being chased by a lion, you run faster than you knew you could and will likely be forced to try new things.

This comes back to a very important principle of my philosophy — define your environment so that the environment defines you in favorable ways.

So, if you want to learn or discover something, you might consider taking some part of your life to the “Edge of Chaos”, a place where you will be challenged, struggle, and will have to innovate to win.  I’m quite certain, that if done correctly, this will lead to a richer and more interesting life–if that is what you want.

-Kevin
12.18.2011

Image via Wikipedia

On attempting to deprive one’s senses

First, an update on my trip to the Sensory Deprivation chamber….

Two weeks ago, I took a trip out to Boylston, MA to a “healing arts center” that had a Sensory Deprivation tank for the purpose of what is called “flotation therapy.”  This trip was a part of my journey in experiencing alternate states of consciousness.

Long story short: The place was about an hour out of Boston. I left with plenty of time.  But, of course, I have a lot of trouble finding this well hidden place.  I try calling them and no one answers of course. I eventually find the place, but the extra half hour of searching made me about 10 minutes late leaving me only about 45 minutes in my appointment.  I quickly get ready and hop in the salt water in the tank.  I lie there floating around, it’s pretty dark.   I’m taller than average, so I bump into the sides of the tank a bit.  This irritates me since its distracting, but I eventually calm down and get to a stable floating state so I’m not bumping into anything.  My mind chatters away like usual when I can’t go to sleep at night.  I eventually start to calm down.  And then. all of a sudden, I see a strong glow of light coming from above my head.  At first I freak out a bit since no light goes into a sensory deprivation tank, right? RIGHT??

I sit up a bit and rest on my elbow (the water is only about a foot deep) and crane my neck to see where the light is coming from.  I see 5 circles with light coming from them.  I sit up a bit and start feeling around the walls of the chamber, did I hit a button that turns on light in these things? are some people into light in the chamber?

As I sit up, unbeknownst to me, water starts to drip down my forehead…..and into my eyes.  I was quite frustrated at this point. Ah! Son of a bitch! Goddamit!! ( I cuss like a sailor sometimes. Bad habit. This is probably the censored version.)

I get the salt-water-in-the-eyes situation remedied, and I lie down trying to at least relax for a bit.  As I lie there, I hear the door slam from someone coming into the building.  I then hear voices of people talking.

I get up and get ready to leave.

Before leaving, I asked, “Is the tank supposed to have light in it?”  Person working: “Yeah.  You can’t let it distract you though.  You just have to relax.”

the hell???

~

Let me think about the steps I went through:

• I heard from a number of sources about sensory deprivation which made me think that it was certainly a novel experience I should try
• I even further researched it online (looking up other sources on the topic, looking at different tank manufacturers), still trying to better understand what it was like
• I found a place and asked about the experience there and what it entailed, which seemed to match up with all the other sources.
• The chamber that the location had was even from one of what was supposed to be one of the leading Sensory Deprivation tank manufacturers (Samahdi Tank Co.)
• I booked an appointment and confirmed my appointment.
• I left on course to arrive more than 30 minutes early
• I had the number in my phone to call in case I got lost

Outcome:

• I was late
• the tank had light in it and I could hear quite easily things going on around me

By going to a chamber professionally made for sensory deprivation, I had assumed that my senses would be effectively deprived.  Maybe there would be some vibrations that they couldn’t block out, but for the most part, it would be dark and quiet. This seems reasonable right?  It’s a quite direct assumption I think.  And alas, this assumption turned out to be blatantly wrong.

I took a number of prudent steps to make sure things went well, but the most basic assumption–that my senses would be mostly deprived–turned out to be blatantly false.

On setting up business meetings

I go to a lot of meetings at major corporations.  For a meeting where you will be meeting with another company to give a presentation, the list of things you need to do is pretty absurd in order to ensure a successful meeting:

• is there definitely a conference phone in the conference room so my colleague can dial in?
• is there a projector?
• do i have the final presentation slides on my computer? who does?
• do i have the final presentation slides on a flash drive in case we can’t use my computer? do we have them in .pdf form in case powerpoint does not work for the other computer?
• do we need to be registered with security?
• do we have access to the conference room a half hour before the meeting start time so that we can get setup and ready?
• is someone available to sign us in early enough for us to get into the conference room and setup before the meeting starts?
• do the attendees from the other side know why they’re coming to this meeting?
• do we know what the other attendees want from this meeting?
• do we have the agenda agreed to?  Is it the “real agenda”?
• are all the attendees on my side properly prepped and know what they need to do?
• do we need some sort of screen sharing technology up and running for remote attendees?  can I set it up externally? or does the hosting party need to set it up internally?
• do I need to have something installed in order to share my screen?
• does everyone understand the goals of the meeting on our end?
• If my colleague’s cell phone dies or doesn’t have signal and can’t dial into the meeting, am I able to present his slides for him?
• What questions do we need to ask?
• What can we find out about the people that will be attending? have we done our research on them as individuals?
• Have I spoken to everyone on the other side of the table before?
• what don’t I know that is going to trip us up?
• do I have my computer? power chord? pen? paper?

I could actually keep going with this list.

the level of risk is probably higher than you think

Taking a careful look at these two examples brings to light how much can (and usually does) go wrong.  It’s true, I’ve shown up at the wrong site (it’s easier than you think).  My boss has gone to a meeting where they didn’t have a conference phone in the conference room. I’ve certainly been to meetings where someone’s time was wasted because they couldn’t get the A/V equipment up and running.  All these things happen and always threaten to derail the mission.

And sometimes even the most basic assumptions are completely wrong.  Check your premises I suppose.

Now scale this up to more uncertain areas of operation.  New relationships. New technologies.  New businesses.  In a more complex system, there are even more things that can go wrong.

It’s hard, but I try, as often as I can, to ask myself,  What are the assumptions I’m making? Are they correct? what are the risks? are there any steps I can take to prevent them?

Bearing in mind how hard it is to go lie down in a pool of saltwater or sit in a room and talk with a group of people in a useful manner, it seems like a damn miracle that anything ever actually works.

-Kevin
10.4.2011

I’ll probably talk more about this sometime soon, but I wanted to introduce something I’m going to be trying this weekend–The Sensory Deprivation Tank.

Here’s a bit of the history from wikipedia:

In neurophysiology, there had been an open question as to what keeps the brain going and the origin of its energy sources. One hypothesis was that the energy sources are biological and internal and do not depend upon the outside environment. It was argued that if all stimuli are cut off to the brain then the brain would go to sleep. [In 1954] Lilly decided to test this hypothesis and, with this in mind, created an environment which totally isolated an individual from external stimulation. From here, he studied the origin of consciousness and its relation to the brain.

A sensory deprivation tank is an enclosure that contains highly concentrated salt water that is dense enough that humans can easily float in the water.  The tank is soundproof and blocks out all light.  The water is set to the same temperature as the skin, which causes the feeling of the body boundary to fade.

We tend to forget how much information our brain is constantly exposed to.  The goal of this apparatus is of course to remove all external stimulation and for the body to lose itself such that we’re left only with our consciousness.

This concept intrigues me greatly, particularly now that I’ve become very attuned to how powerful the brain can be when it is focused on one thing without distraction.

People seem to use this sensory deprivation experience differently.  Some use it for meditation and de-stressing. Others use it for enhancing creativity and for learning purposes.  I’m told some people in these conditions begin to hallucinate wildly. And of course, many people choose to augment the psychedelic experience with additional substances.

I’m extremely curious. I keep envisioning myself in this environment and how I think I’ll react.

Will I freak out?
I can imagine myself panicking–I don’t like being in tight spaces and my brain is hyperactive as it is, so it’s possible my brain heats up like a white hot iron and I’ve got to get out.

Will I achieve prolonged “hyper-focus” (/intense daydreaming)?
Especially when I was younger, I remember sitting in class and suddenly my mind would go off to some place wonderful far, far away.  I was a bit of a space cadet.  Once the daydream ended, I would always long to be back there. (Another altered state of consciousness that we tend to forget.  Will have to write about this one too.)  I can imagine myself regaining this experience for a more prolonged period.

Will my mind be cleared?
It’s hard for me to imagine nothing being on my mind.  If I do go meditatively blank, I better emerge recharged.

Will my creativity gain full control over my mind?
My imagination/creativity is something I’m secretly (not so secretly?) very proud of.  In the absence of the barrage of every day stimuli, perhaps my creativity will be able to take full control and I’ll be able to experience whatever I want, almost like a lucid dream.

I’m trying to not have any expectations for this first experiment. I’m told that it takes some time to be able to fully utilize the experience as you intend.   So this time, I’m just going to go in with an open mind and see what happens.  In subsequent visits, perhaps I’ll take more active control.

-Kevin
9.22.2011

I want you to be a goddam superstar. I want you to be so good at what you do, that you make my skills look like a joke. I want you to be the biggest thing since sliced bread.  That’s right. I do.

Why?

When you blow up and become a mega hit, you’ll take me with you, at least a little bit, whether you meant to or not.

When I see you doing so great, you’ll make me want to catchup with you.  Maybe I’m a little competitive.  Maybe it’s just that your success told me I could do it too.

When your resources have grown with your success, hopefully you’ll be willing to help me because at some point on the road to your spot in the sun, I helped you.

And when our paths cross again, when you’ve made it big, I hope I see you happy, full of purpose, and immersed in your life, work, love, and role. (Isn’t that the definition of success?) That stuff spreads too.

I’m rooting for you, and I’ve got your back.

-Kevin
9.19.2011

The Abyss

Many years ago, there was a man who lived in a village.

One evening, after a long day of work, he ventured out of the village into the forest, unsure of what he was looking for.

Every night, he continued this.  Each time going farther and farther.  Until one night, he came out of the forest and onto a stretch of rock.  He hurried forward stumbling across the uneven surface of the stone, until he came to a sharp ledge.

He stopped, stood up, and found himself overlooking an immense, vacuous space–miles and miles of unknown darkness.  He looked out into the vast Abyss and saw visions of what could be out there, what could be achieved, what could be discovered within its depths.

He ran back to the village, told everyone he knew, and begged his friends to come with him to see it.

They wouldn’t come.  They didn’t believe he had even found such a thing.  He asked others.  None would come.

He tried to forget the Abyss. He tried to go on with his simple life–work, food, friends–but it felt empty now too.  He had lost his simple life forever.

Then one evening approximately one year after his first discovery, he returned to the Abyss, and stared out into the vast darkness.  And as he stared out into it, the Abyss stared back at him.  The emptiness, the loneliness, filled his mind, “I will always be alone. They will never understand.”

He began to climb down into the Abyss, and the Abyss consumed him.  No one ever heard from him again.

Perhaps this Adventurer discovered wondrous treasures after journeying down into the Abyss.  Maybe one day we’ll re-discover what he found.  As much as I want to believe that this Adventurer learned and discovered much, in all likelihood, he probably took a fall in the darkness, fractured his leg and shattered his ribs, and was left stranded and awaiting death.  Either way, there are no stories to be told of him, so he is dead in our memories, other than as an example of someone that ventured off only to be consumed by nothingness.

Perhaps there is no meaning behind this story.  But, in recent years, I’ve found meaning in it.

I’ve tried a lot of things, some of which could certainly be viewed as stupid.  I’d ask myself, “What the hell am I doing this for?” But I had my reasons, and I knew the only way I’d learn was to carry on. Additionally, I often found it hard to understand why people were satisfied with just coasting through life.  I could see very clearly why it was a good route, but nonetheless, I couldn’t really understand.  And several times, because of these conditions (me trying unordinary things, and not “getting” the usual life), I found myself feeling very alone.

Some people are compelled to venture off into the strange wild lands through the dark forest.  To some, it’s a gift and a superior way to live one’s life.  To others, it’s a disease.  I think a more even view is that it’s a role.

Eventually, these people will encounter the Abyss.  The problem is, much like the story, they let the Abyss stare back into them and consume them.  No one around them understands. They cut themselves off.  They convince themselves that no one understands.  And they go on living lonely, miserable lives.  And the story of the Abyss plays out.

People need differentiation, particularly the ambitious and creative (the Creatives). Consequently the idea of playing a role can be very discomforting.  But, this must be reconciled for the Creatives, we all need integration and connections to others.  The Abyss is vast, and there is an infinite amount of unknown for everyone to look separately on, and therefore plenty of room for differentiation.

So I would propose a different ending to the story of the Abyss:

He returned to the Abyss, and stared out into the vast darkness.  The Abyss stared back at him.  The emptiness began to fill his mind, and just before the Abyss was about to consume him, in an instinctual flash, he looked to his left.  And in the distance, he could see the faint outline of someone else, gazing out into the immense unknown.

-Kevin
9.18.2011

I’m offering to help anyone that wants to take advantage of it. If you need help with something, put in a request, and I’ll see if it’s something I can help with, or at least give you some ideas.   Just send me an email at Kevin@Vogel-Labs.com. It’s that simple.

I’m good at many things.  I can write reasonably well, I can make videos, I can program computers,  I can connect you with the right people (potentially), I can help you improve your jump shot, I can coach you as you attempt to get better at something, I can sell, I can teach, I’m also a good strategist and tactician.  I’m having a hard time thinking of something I actually couldn’t help with in some way (although I’m sure there is.)

Of course, I can’t guarantee I’ll take you up on your request.  I don’t have any stipulations in mind.  I will say that the more important it is to you, the more I’ll want to help.

To be honest, I’m actually concerned not many people will take advantage of the offer.  People tend to be shy about asking for help.

Don’t be one of these people.  Asking for help is a key skill.

Looking forward to hearing from you.

-Kevin
9.16.2011

Image via Wikipedia

I’m in the process of working on a more involved post (actually a set of posts) about skill acquisition.  But I thought I’d post something short in the meantime.

I’m an extremely future-oriented individual and my thoughts generally revolve around implications for the future.  In general, I’m extremely happy about this bias and the ability to make decisions that it affords me.  I think of it as a gift.  But, in the past, I think this future orientation was at times to such a high degree that it became a fault.

If you focus too much on the future, you dim the experience that is happening now.  I’m up for having a good time, particularly if it’s a unique experience. But an important lesson I had to learn was how to continuously incite and devour a vibrant present.

And that’s where fraternity brothers come in handy.  They helped a lot because I was able to see just how much fun anything can be if you choose to make it so.

One of the guys goes out of town: this is obviously an opportunity to fill his room wall to wall with thousands of balloons! (what a fantastic idea,truly amazing)

Have to wake up early to do community service at a food bank: challenge somebody to race to see who can pack boxes the fastest, and if you’re watching, place bets and cheer.

There are many examples of things like this.  I’m pretty sure you can make anything fun so long as you’re with at least a few good people.  However, this has a particularly important implication for leadership.  Here’s another anecdote:

Every summer, we would have to prepare the fraternity house for the summer boarders, which entailed getting the house cleaned up and rooms setup with desks and a bed.  This could often require moving around a lot of very heavy desks.

I was in charge of this one summer, and I appointed one of the older brothers to lead the desk moving crew.  After all the assignments had been made, this particular brother raised a fist and shouted, “To the Beacon!” and his crew came running.  They took frequent breaks, which this task required, and the crew leader would do this very same thing to pull the team back together.  This small practice, imbibed with a bit of energy and light-heartedness, changed the nature of the desk-moving task into a more positive experience. More than just the desk-moving crew, it made me, the guy in charge, feel better about whether or not we were going to get the damn house put back together in time.

~

I suppose it’s worth asking, are there limits to how much fun you should have?  Well, thankfully my fraternity brothers have again come to the rescue to test that:

(video embed appears to not be working try here: MIT ATO Window Jumping
Note: By posting this I do not condone it, and of course, encourage everyone to never do this, so don’t try this at home, kids.)

-Kevin
8.29.2011

Image via Wikipedia

1) Keep Rollin’ Like Donkey Kong

In Donkey Kong Country for the SNES, you spend a lot of time swinging on ropes, jumping on platforms, and blastin’ out of barrels.  If you hesitate, things are much more difficult.  However, if you keep swinging, and keep leaping to the next checkpoint, it’s not so bad.  Don’t over think it.  Just move to the rhythm of the level, and you’ll win handily just like this:

I’ve found myself analyzing trivial things like which cereal to buy (Am I the only one this happens to?).  I’ve been involved in and observed business conversations go around and around over a decision.  Don’t do that.  Keep moving.

2) Find the Right Tool like Samus

In Super Metroid, you often run into big obstacles that you can’t possibly get past without the right tool.  If you can find the right tool, you’ll make it.  And sure enough, the right tool is out there.   So grab your high jump boots, throw on the Varia Suit, and equip your grappling beam and be on your way.  If you’re really well equipped, you’ll be able to sail through everything, just like this:
 

I sure learned this lesson when learning to program computers and working in hardware stores.  The right tool really is out there.  (If it’s not, make it).

3) Win the battle outside of the Arena

In Final Fantasy VII, the Earth creates huge monsters, called “Weapons”, to protect itself.  One of the hardest battles in the game is the Sapphire Weapon.  You’ve got 20 minutes to win in an underwater battle.  You better be leveled up and ready. The thing is, if you’ve put in the hours outside of the battle, the battle itself isn’t that bad. But it probably takes 70 hours of playing in order to be prepared for those 20 minutes.

 Here’s what a well prepared team can do (at least in Final Fantasy):
 

 
Major point: get business done outside of the meeting.
 

4) Catch Fire NBA Jam Style

In NBA Jam, if you hit 3 shots in a row without letting the other team score, you catch fire.  If you want to stay hot, you can’t let the other team score.
 

 
Take shots.  Make shots. Keep that fire. And keep your swagger.

5) Like Mortal Kombat says, Test Your Might!

Test your might. Often.
 

Without challenge, life has no meaning.

6) The Impossible is Nothing for the UN Squadron

In UN Squadron, I hit multiple levels that I thought I could never beat.  On the final level of the game, I remember exclaiming, “This is impossible!” as my Dad walked through the room with a laundry basket in hand.  He turned and said, “You know, every time you say that, you find a way to win.”  And he was right.  Many times I thought I surely could never do it, and I always ended up beating it.  I’ve kept this in mind ever since then, and I remember just how much of an illusion the impossible can be.

On that final level, I improved my strategy and my reaction times and was then stompin enemy planes like this guy:

7) Winners Save the Princess

They don’t get scared by bottomless chasms, get hurt by fireballs, or get eatin’ by bloodthirsty plants.  They don’t even worry about being a 1 foot tall plumber. Winners save the princess.  No excuses. Play like a champion.
 

-Kevin V.
8.15.2011

As I’ve mentioned many times before, I used to live in a fraternity at MIT.

The place had magic.  Living with 40 awesome people in one big house doesn’t happen often, probably almost never.

However, those 4o people were a rowdy crowd of strong personalities, so running the place was no small task.

“House meetings”, a meeting of all the fraternity brothers to discuss house issues, were a necessary part of the governance system.  These meetings were a goddam zoo.  40 characters in a confined space arguing, debating, and acting like clowns is a tough place to get your point across.

For most of us that is.

But when Chris Barnes spoke.  Everyone paused, midway through their contribution to the calamity, and listened.

Chris was what most would describe as a quiet guy.  But, this isn’t an accurate description.  Chris was not shy.  He was not afraid to speak.  He was interested in what was going on around him.  Chris was, as others have accurately described him, a quiet storm.

Chris did not waste words.  He was precise and clear. When he spoke to entertain, it was funny and surprising.  When he had a thought to communicate, it was poignant.  I can’t remember him ever being wrong.

People talk a lot of noise.  And it’s natural for most of us to get caught up in this.  But if you want to make your words matter, I’d say be more like Chris Barnes, at least as much as you can.  Deliver value and clarity.  You’ll make yourself a much more powerful person.

~

A few days ago, Chris passed away.

I was planning to write this post anyway as using words wisely is an effing important lesson, particularly the way Chris Barnes displayed it for all of us.  But now, this post is all the more important to me. There’s another thought I have to contribute here.

Many believe in a heaven in the afterlife.  Whatever the best place is after this, I’m sure Chris made it there.

People focus a lot on living a good life in order to get to heaven.  But, I think we should be a bit more ambitious and want more from life itself.  So my question is, “why can’t we build heaven on earth?”

Chris is going to help us build heaven on earth through the positive influence he had over us during his short time here.  And helping us harness the power of words is just one example.

-Kevin
7.21.2011